Temptation is everywhere and it takes a lot of personal conviction not to give in to those temptations. What temptations in particular are plaguing me on this snowy day; the temptation to quit. The temptation to take the practice period and do something else, not necessarily more productive, just something else.
Why is this coming up now after I’ve already completed 24 days of the practice period? I think it’s a test. Not like the devil is tempting me to lead a life of negativity and abandonment of my beliefs; but a life that doesn’t promote my own highest good.
I’m reading Christian de Quincey’s book, Radical Knowing, dealing with consciousness. It’s an intriguing look at how we define consciousness and the many facets we’ve taken on as a culture to explain consciousness. Basically I’m finding that the reason for me to continue the practice is to be in something. To be in something greater than myself that exposes me to me.
I guess the real meat of the issue is keep on keepin’ on. The more I engage in my practice the more I will commune with me. I will be in it, feel it, experience it and allow the it to be more than enough. It’s not easy and it’s not difficult. It doesn’t take a lot of thought nor does it take a lot of energy, it just takes keep on keepin’ on. The journey and my experience of the journey, from the inside out is more than enough.
I thought it would get easier after a certain point. Maybe I’m missing the point, maybe it’s never supposed to be “easy”. On the other hand is it supposed to be difficult? I believe it’s not about being difficult, but somehow conveying my commitment to me and all the experiences I can possibly feel on all levels; physical, emotional, and spiritual.
So I’ll keep on keepin’ on and see how it works. I know that I have to go forth because the road back seems to have become a blur so without bread crumbs my destiny lies ahead of me.
Blessings to you…