Everything has an order or so I thought; even chaos has order. If that’s the case why do I feel like I’m going forward in reverse? I was under the impression that the idea behind a practice was to uncover, unearth, or reduce me to the core and yet the cloth on working on is being layered with more and more as each day passes.
It’s a conundrum; believing that I should be peeling back the layers while adding layers to the piece. Is it possible to add detail and yet stay with the idea of know-nothing? I can approach the practice each day with a beginner’s mind after all that’s what diffused the anxiety of what would be the next phase added to the cloth. The beginner’s mind is something I can practice and grab on to, even though there’s nothing to hold.
On the other hand, many believe that we get lost in the details and I’m adding detail to the cloth daily. As I’m writing this I just got a hit…maybe the idea is exactly that; to get “lost” in the details. Have no agenda and allow the body, mind, and spirit to take its own journey with me simply bearing witness to the process.
I’ve said many a times that I believe the process is the art and what get’s created is the bonus. So if I get lost in the details am I in fact surrendering to the process and as the commercial says, “Calgon take me away”, allowing the practice of creation to transport me through time and space.
I feel like I’m resisting it a bit because it makes sense and simultaneously there is something that feels blocked. If I continue being engaged in the practice then maybe the piece will reveal the experience that’s acting as the itch I don’t seem to be able to scratch.
Blessings to you…