I’m admitting that I have a habit of jumping to conclusions. I can be known to be quite reactionary. This reactionary stance is something I’ve been working on for years because many years ago it got me in some sticky situations. I can’t tell you why I’ve been so reactionary. I’m sure Freud and Jung would come up with early childhood trauma, and yes that did happen, I don’t think that’s the answer. I did learn, as a sense of self-preservation, to be on the offensive, but that too has subsided over the years. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t roll over and play dead, I’m just more even keeled about my actions.
I was exploring the art of observation during my meditation because Siba (my 7 month old Bernedoodle) was acting strange. She’s a growing pup and quite ravenous, but last night she didn’t finish her dinner. When we awoke this morning and we went through our morning ritual of going out and then breakfast, she didn’t rush to her bowl. I wouldn’t normally worry because there have been days when she eats a bit and saves the rest for a mid-morning snack, but today was different.
As the morning progressed I started to become concerned because Siba hadn’t touched her breakfast. I was already planning on when I could take her to the vet. Tuesday I said because our vet Dr. B works on Tuesday. In the past, I would have rushed to make an appointment assuming she was sick. I had already come to the conclusion in my mind that she had some type of obstruction and was going to require surgery (I’m not melodramatic, am I?)
I decided to let her just sleep and I sat next to her on the couch. I was petting her and she began to snore. She wasn’t acting sick (I know canine sick) and that was what allowed me to sit back and just keep watching her. It took a while but at 3:30pm she decided to have breakfast. I guess she’s just living the life of luxury figuring that the food would be there when she was good and ready.
It has made me think about how many times in my day should I just sit back and observe. What am I missing when I rush to a conclusion and what does feeling the fear do for my view of the world. I’m an artist so I should be pretty good at the art of observation, but I guess it can be situation specific. The question for today is how do I expand that stance of observation before acting into my daily life.
I may be surprised at what I learn about others, and myself at least for today that’s the hope!