How Do We Become?

I view a lot of wild animal reels on Instagram.  I’m always amazed at the animals after giving birth nurturing and raising their young.  After a time, we see the babies following mom (and sometimes dad) around.  I had the opportunity to watch a feral cat teach her young to hunt.  It was an amazing thing to witness.

We learn by watching others.  We take our experience, assimilate it, and often we make it our own.  We take classes to learn new skills.  We attend lectures or read books about an individual or group’s journey.  Watching, listening, and learning from others allows us to forego some of the pitfalls of those who came before us.  I call this wisdom.

My mentors have endowed me with strong foundations.  I’ve used these foundations in my art practice and my spiritual life to overcome obstacles and expand opportunities.  I have allowed myself to be influenced, not manipulated, but provided the benefit of someone’s experience from a deep personal perspective.  We all evolve over time.  I exhibited a quilt at a quilt conference.  A noted art quilter said to my mentor, “you have a talented student.”  She replied, “I don’t think he’s my student anymore.”

The truth is you are all my mentors.  I learn new things every day.  I absorb the wisdom presented in heartfelt, authentic, and generous ways.  It’s why I have maintained my collage practice.  What started off as a class assignment and meant to last a semester has continued for five years.  It allows me to continually explore my beliefs while working out the kinks of life.

Who are your mentors?  How do you learn life’s lessons?  What would you like to tackle next?

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Patchwork

Years ago, I started a PhD program in psychology.  I left the program and pursued other avenues for higher education.  However, one of the classes was in cognitive psychology.  We learned about schema which are the lens through which we view the world.  Every person’s schema is unique.

I am a quilt/textile artist.  I tend to look at how the world is comprised of little pieces making up the whole.  I’m very gestalt (Fritz Perlz would be proud) of this world view.  Truth is, we’re complicated beings.  Every experience creates a puzzle piece, or piece of our cosmic quilt.  

I studied with a fiber artist for a few years.  Our small group would meet in her studio once a week for learning new techniques and critiques of the work we were creating.  I put a piece on the design wall, and she said, “don’t you see it?”  I didn’t.  Again, she said, “it’s right there, it’s out of place.”   She pointed to the piece of fabric creating disharmony.  In a moment, with scissors in hand she walked up the quilt and cut the piece out of the center.  With what I thought was an act of aggression, she said, “don’t worry, I’ll show you how to fix it.”  Indeed, she did show me how to fix it and the art was better for what she did.

Looking back on the experience I’ve come to understand how some things just don’t fit in my worldview.  In fact, they create dissonance.  I am then challenged to come up with a solution for this dilemma.  These days the people showing me my own clashing beliefs are my husband, my study partner, and my spiritual director.  I do a lot of reading to further my own harmony.  I listen to podcasts to expand my view of the world looking for nuggets fitting with the world I’m creating for myself.

We strive for wholeness.  When we’re not in alignment it’s like the itch you can’t reach to scratch.  How will you begin your journey of inner and outer reconciliation?

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By the Light

“When you are in deep darkness, will you not ask for a lamp?” -Dhammapada 11.146.  We are often afraid of the dark.  It speaks to the unknown.  It prevents us from clear vision.  It may even be an excuse for why we behave badly.  I do know this darkness is often at the root of anxiety and depression.

Do we like bumping into things?  This is something I’ve grappled with for quite a while.  I remember being in therapy and speaking about all my struggles.  My therapist (a Jungian analyst) asked me, “why do you wear struggle like a red badge of courage?”  I must say the question stopped me in my tracks.   Like so many things we believe are unconscious; once they are brought to light, it becomes a conscious choice, not just a knee jerk reaction. Perhaps it’s why some people like being in the dark because it prevents them from taking responsibility.

However, when we ask for help or move into the light our options are infinite.  We still need to remember when the light comes so does the shadow.  I find shadows easier to deal with because I can deal with them than being unconscious and harming myself and others.

Are we so stubborn we won’t ask for light?  Light shows up as guidance, healing, information, etc.  It provides tools for self-knowing.  It leads us on a journey for peace-of-mind.  

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On the Offensive

I love watching football.  The offensive line as they move down the field is so exciting.  There is an aggression often associated with offense because as we know from war, it’s moving into territory of the “other”.  What is it about our nature propelling us to be on the offensive?  How do we become stuck in this stance?

We’ve become a hypervigilant culture.  People are always looking to protest, even those who don’t know what they’re protesting.  For them, it’s about the action, the aggression, even when they think they’re standing up for a cause.  We have become a culture who wants to belong to something larger, and yet are we discerning in our actions?

On the other side, playing defensive hasn’t always been our friend.  There is the need to protect ourselves, but at what cost?  Do we fear annihilation?  I do believe certain communities are plagued by hate and defense is about protection not only on the physical level, but the emotional and spiritual level as well.  

I guess what I’m wondering is when we are on the offensive, how mindful are we?  Are we caught up in emotion and fly by the seat of our pants?  Do we give thought to “right action” and “right speech” as we move toward living a full and safe life?  How do we defend our rights without waging emotional, social, spiritual, or political war?

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Bits and Pieces

Are you a jigsaw puzzle enthusiast?  I look at puzzles with their interlocking pieces.  The clear thing about jigsaw puzzles is if one piece is missing, the whole thing is incomplete.  Perhaps we can envision a completed piece, but we know it’s not complete.

If we consider ourselves puzzles, do we have all the pieces?  What is it about any journey, pilgrimage, quest propelling us to wholeness?  There are times we may need to find pieces, but what if we want to remove pieces?  What if we could remove parts of ourselves causing dis-ease?

You may be wondering how I could reference removing pieces if I’m talking about wholeness.  It’s interesting how medicine works at removing things like cancer or correcting parts of our bodies fracturing our wholeness/wellness.  If talking about dis-ease, we’re talking about being uncomfortable.  Many want to remove what makes them uncomfortable, but I’ve found these are the road signs saying beware, caution, or pay attention. 

If we remove something, we need to replace it with something else.  What beliefs do we need to shift?   When we let go of something, what do we replace it with.  Do we have place holders?  As I’m writing this, the idea of place holders in my soul is intriguing.  I look at ways I make space for possibility.  I work towards expanding instead of contracting.

How do we allow our “true selves” to evolve?  Do you have space for what may come?

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Will The True You Please Step Forward

Humans are multi-faceted, but it doesn’t mean we should hide who we are. Perhaps part of the issue we’re not in touch with our true selves so we make up stories to be who we think people want us to be.  It may also be we’re creating selves of who we aspire to be.  When we look in the mirror, what do we see?  Is it a reflection of our physical person, or can we see beyond the mirror to the soul?

I’ve been watching a UK show “Portrait Artist of the Year.”  In each round there are three artists who are given four hours to paint a sitter.  They allow the sitter to keep one of the three. 

It’s interesting to watch the sitter approach each of the paintings and artists, commenting on specific aspects of the portrait.  Often, the sitter is surprised at what the artist was able to capture about their personality.

Are we able to see ourselves clearly if we allow our intuition to shine through?  What allows us to open our hearts to the possibility of who we are?  Are we willing to work on ourselves improving the heart reflection?

I can’t think of any greater way of experiencing how we present that being mirrored by those we don’t know.  When they say first impressions matter, we’re not talking about acting in a role.  With those we want to engage with beyond a superficial level, the first impression reflects on how open and forthcoming when we express ourselves.  It’s not about making an impression but allow more about imprinting our true selves on the hearts of others.

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Forest Through the Trees

What gets in our way of seeing things clearly?  Do we have unconscious biases preventing us from seeing truth?  Why are we vested in narrow ways of seeing?  Are we living in fear of what lies outside the realm of our current realities?

I was watching a documentary on PBS about loss and the experience through art.  The woman was a Chinese immigrant living in the United States for twenty-five years.  She married and when wanting a family, both pregnancies ended.  One child was stillborn, the other a miscarriage.  After she finished the painting, she was asked to take a step back.  Being up close to the painting gave her one view, a small view of the work.  Stepping back allowed her to take in the greater vision.

Do we focus only on things supporting our small world view?  One of the things I admire about my father is his desire for understanding multiple perspectives.  He frequently shares information he gathers from multiple news sources all from different perspectives.  When doing couple’s therapy one of the beliefs I stand by is there are three sides to a story, the story of each partner and the truth.

When I went to seminary one of the books we read was Let There Be Light by Dr. Paul Vidich and Dr. Arthur Stein.  The book explores light through twelve faith traditions.  I walked away seeing how all faiths see light similarly and yet their expression is different enough for it to fit their theology.  It’s not unlike the “golden rule”.  Most if not all faith traditions have a similar version allowing us to believe we’re more alike than we are different.

Is your world big or small?  Do you wonder what’s just outside your line of sight?  Is there curiosity?  What would looking beyond the boundaries be like?

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Watch Over

Are we our brothers/sisters/persons keepers?  It’s an age-old question.  It brings up a lot of feelings.  There are those who say everyone should receive an outstretched hand when needed.  On the other hand, there is the camp believing everyone should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and help themselves.

I find this question particularly perplexing because the issue is not about watching over, but about suffering.  I believe when wrestling with this question we should be engaged with others’ suffering, not their financial issue or some other issue.  It’s as if we’re treating the symptom and not the root cause.

Living in Colorado, voters approved reentry of wolves.  Unfortunately, in the past few weeks, several calves have been killed.  The governor basically said this is the cost of doing business and any loss is a negative.  I always revert to the last moment of the calves’ lives.  Animals don’t have death doulas.  Their parents aren’t always able to protect them from predators.

Are you a guardian?  Do you oversee or protect someone or some-thing in your world?  Who looks out for our hearts?  I look at healers who work at helping us navigate the sometimes-treacherous journey we call life.  Yet there are those whose optimism helps us maneuver these turbulent roads.  Is it a matter of perspective?  

Ronald Reagan spoke of trickle-down economics.  Can the same be used for our spiritual lives?  If we engage in healing, how does it impact those around us?  I often speak of our “sphere of influence”.  In the world it equates to the three feet around us.  However, we live in a cyber world and the “sphere of influence” may be greater. 

Truth is, we all need a guardian and simultaneously we all need guardians.  Anyone who believes they won’t ever need a safety net are delusional. The saying, “I got your back” should be the motto live by.  It needs to be the impetus for a cultural shift.

For more art and prompts, I’ve posted over 1,100 collages, follow me on

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